The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned by Chris
Carter and 1013 Productions, all rights reserved. The following transcript is in
no way a substitute for the show "The X-Files" and is merely meant as a homage.
This transcript is not authorized or endorsed by Chris Carter, 1013 Productions,
or Fox Entertainment. It was painstakingly typed out by CarriK and made available for your personal
enjoyment by DrWeesh from website, The X-Files Scripts Archive
( The LONE GUNMEN greet them from the top of a stairway. LANGLY, FROHIKE, and BYERS are very happy to see MULDER and SCULLY. LANGLY is wearing a Led Zeppelin t-shirt.)
LANGLY: Dudes! Agent Mulder, what's up, wild man? Welcome to the land where silicon meets silicone.
FROHIKE: Can I get you a latte from the bar or perhaps a bottle of designer H20?
MULDER: Scully?
(SCULLY is not to be distracted from the case at hand.)
SCULLY: How about a simple explanation as to why we're here?
LANGLY: Well, why don't we take a brief moment just to feel the pulse of the new American gold rush?
BYERS: (proudly) You're standing on the launch pad of a rocket headed for the stars.
(SCULLY glances around. She obviously feels nothing.)
SCULLY: Okay.
(Pause. The men look uncomfortable.)
FROHIKE: There's been a little accident.
SCULLY: What kind of accident?
(As they walk through the hall and down the stairs, they pass a series of cardboard cutouts of game figures including the three GEEKS. One is a figure of a very surprised looking policeman who has just been shot.)
LANGLY: Like ... uh, an industrial accident.
SCULLY: How did the victim die?
FROHIKE: Uh... It's not exactly clear.
BYERS: Right.
SCULLY: Was there equipment involved?
FROHIKE: (together) No.
BYERS: (together) Yes. Mmm...
LANGLY: Yes and no.
SCULLY: What's your business here?
LANGLY: Our business?
SCULLY: Yeah.
MULDER: Uh-huh.
FROHIKE: We're consultants to F.P.S.
(They exit an elevator.)
BYERS: Langly did some programming for them. He created all of the bad guys.
LANGLY: Only the Euro goons.
FROHIKE: We don't want to give you the idea that we're major profit participants.
MULDER: Cash or stock options?
(Pause. The GUNMEN look at each other.)
LANGLY: Options ... preferred rate. Vesting immediately with a short-term exercise against venture collateral to bypass S.E.C. regs.
BYERS: The IPO'S in a week.
FROHIKE: Game ships on Friday. 50 malls across the United States and Japan.
SCULLY: Only there's a dead body between you and untold riches.
MULDER: I don't know about you guys but I'd be checking my shorts for cake.
(Later. In the game playing area. A layer of bubble wrap is lifted from where it has been covering the body of RETRO where he fell. SCULLY is kneeling before him.)
SCULLY: This man's been shot.
IVAN: (very upset, rationalizing) No! See, when somebody is shot, there's a gun involved, right? That is absolutely impossible because there's no way anybody could ever get a gun past security.
(SCULLY holds up the huge laser rifle.)
SCULLY: What do you call this?
IVAN: It's a laser blaster. For wasting cybertrash.
LANGLY: It emits a low-frequency ...
IVAN: (interrupting) Just let me.
LANGLY: All right.
IVAN: The weapons feed off the F.P.S. mainframe. The effect is intensely real, but harmless.
(PHOEBE is standing with her arms crossed, very uncomfortable.)
SCULLY: You say this weapon is a toy but this man clearly has gunshot wounds through his...
IVAN: Stun suit. See, it's rigged with paint for wounds and kill shots. It's total bleeding-edge technology.
(SCULLY dips her latex covered fingers into the bloody wound and shows the blood to IVAN.)
IVAN: (impatiently) He's dead. I got it.
MULDER: Who was he playing against?
IVAN: Against the game. You waste the cyberthugs before they waste you. It's all about body count. But they're computer-generated images running on a projector. It all happens in the game space.
PHOEBE: It's a total digital environment. Nothing's real. It's all virtual.
MULDER: Did anybody see what happened?
PHOEBE: I was in the control booth with Ivan. Retro was in the zone. His telemetry was solid. He looked unstoppable; like he was on his way to the next level when suddenly, he was cooked meat.
SCULLY: (taking out her phone) Well, the next call's going to be to the local P.D.
IVAN: No cops! (to LANGLY) No cops. You said no cops. You said you had connections.
SCULLY: Well, connections or not, you've got a murder victim here.
IVAN: (heading out of the room) Headlines-- just what the Wall Street money dudes want to read as we're going to market.
SCULLY: (on phone) Yes, this is Special Agent Dana Scully with the FBI...
MULDER: (to PHOEBE) You said you were in the control booth when it happened? Can you tell me exactly what you saw?
(Later. Control room. PHOEBE is typing on computer. The monitor displays the three GEEKS as they were playing the game earlier.)
PHOEBE: I'm still not sure if we even saw it. I mean, one minute everything is going perfect and then we crashed. Ivan and I were sitting here. We both just looked at each other. It happened so fast. Moxie's covering Retro who's going inside after the enemy to rack up beaucoup points.
FROHIKE: And then, goosh! Retro's vitals spike like he's been shot.
BYERS: And the system defaults.
(Image digitizes white.)
PHOEBE: And they're right back in the game space.
(The background images have now disappeared and the men are in a large, plain room.)
MOXIE: (on video) Lo-Fat! Get over here.
LO-FAT: (on video) What happened?
MOXIE: (on video) Retro? Hey, man, get up.
LO-FAT: (on video) What happened?
(On video, MOXIE and LO-FAT run to the body of RETRO.)
PHOEBE: Lights out. Game over.
MULDER: What happened in there?
LANGLY: We don't know. There's no rez images on interior game spaces.
MULDER: What about the wireframe?
(GUNMEN look at MULDER with surprise.)
PHOEBE: Maybe I can. I'll strip down to wireframe display.
(PHOEBE types some commands. The computer displays an outline image display of the game, then goes to the area where RETRO ran.)
PHOEBE: I mean ... We've never mapped this area before. Retro was in noncombat space.
(The image shows the skeleton of a human lying on the ground and of a digital character with breasts standing over him.)
FROHIKE: It's a chick.
LANGLY: It can't be.
MULDER: Can you texture wrap her?
(The LONE GUNMEN glance over at MULDER. PHOEBE, sighs, types some commands. The wire image of the woman solidifies from the feet up. MAITREYA. She is wearing leather boots, thong bodysuit, and not much else. She is holding a gun.)
BYERS: Holy Toledo.
FROHIKE: She's packing a flintlock.
MULDER: That ain't all she's packing. Can you print that out for me?
PHOEBE: Mm-hmm.
(Sound of paper rattling as the picture prints. MULDER and the LONE GUNMEN leave the room. PHOEBE stares at the screen. The digital image of the woman lowers the gun, looks at the camera, and walks away. PHOEBE stares at the screen.)
PHOEBE: Goddess.
(At the security desk SCULLY is talking to DETECTIVE LACOEUR as the body of RETRO is wheeled out. MULDER and the GUNMEN join her.)
DETECTIVE LACOEUR: Let me get this straight, Agent Scully: You've got no murder weapon, no forensic evidence, no motive, no suspect.
MULDER: (coming up the stairs) Scully.
SCULLY: My partner, Agent Mulder. This is Detective LaCoeur.
DETECTIVE LACOEUR: Have you got something?
MULDER: Yeah, our killer, I believe.
(MULDER unfolds the picture of MAITREYA for DETECTIVE LACOEUR. DETECTIVE LACOEUR is not impressed.)
DETECTIVE LACOEUR: Hey, I'll put out an A.P.B.-- for Frederick's of Hollywood.
(He leaves.)
SCULLY: Mulder, you're not serious.
MULDER: It's all in the computer.
SCULLY: Mulder, that's any voluptuous vixen out of any number of video games.
MULDER: But she's not in any video game, she's in this one and no one programmed her in.
SCULLY: Yeah, but even if they had, she's not real. She's a character. She's some immature hormonal fantasy.
(An Asian man enters the building and heads straight for the staircase. He looks at no one. MULDER and the GUNMEN are awed.)
LANGLY: Daryl Musashi. You see who that is? Daryl Musashi.
FROHIKE: As I live and breathe.
(LANGLY and FROHIKE follow MUSASHI down the stairs.)
SCULLY: Who's Daryl Musashi?
MULDER: The O.G.-- Original Guru.
BYERS: Word is he slums as a game designer when he's not contracted to the CIA. The boy wonder of virtual mayhem.
SCULLY: What's he doing here?
BYERS: Ivan must have called him to go in and slay the ninja babe.
(Follows the others.)
SCULLY: Mulder, why does this game have the effect of reducing grown men back to moony adolescence?
MULDER: (whispering, speechless as he heads for the stairs) That's Daryl Musashi!
(SCULLY groans in frustration.)
SCULLY: Mulder.
MULDER: Huh?
SCULLY: Do you want me to autopsy the body?
(MULDER clicks tongue affirmatively and points his finger at her as he descends the stairs.)
CUT TO:
(Control room. IVAN, PHOEBE, FROHIKE, and LANGLY are watching as DARYL MUSASHI enters the game.)
COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Immersion module in descent mode. T-minus 20 seconds to engagement.
IVAN: Pay attention, worms. Daryl Musashi's going to show us how this game's supposed to be played.
FROHIKE: I heard he scored 90 consecutive wins on Demon Space Drifter.
PHOEBE: (with a grin) 91.
LANGLY: Look at him. The man's a sphinx.
(In the game entry room, MUSASHI is standing confidently in full game gear. Red LED counter is counting down.)
COMPUTERIZED VOICE: T minus 10 ... 9 ... 8 ... 7 ... 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Engage.
(Door opens and MUSASHI spins his guns, then walks out into position behind the barricade. He stands with the guns crossed over his chest.)
(In the control room, BYERS and MULDER join the others watching the monitor.)
FROHIKE: Hey, Byers, you got to see this. Mulder, get over here.
MULDER: Is that him? Is that Daryl Musashi?
(IVAN nods his head rapidly, his eyes transfixed on the screen.)
BYERS: Yeah, that's him.
LANGLY: He just stepped into the game.
MULDER: Why is he just standing there?
IVAN: Because he knows no fear.
CUT TO:
(In the game. The Mind-Numbingly Stupid Nazi Death Bikers begin advancing. MUSASHI waits, then blasts them all quickly before they even get close.)
CUT TO:
(Control room. Much cheering.)
LANGLY: Yeah!
BYERS: Unbelievable.
PHOEBE: (impressed, but not surprised) Standing heart rate is 68.
MULDER: He hasn't even broken a sweat.
IVAN: Look at him! He's not even waiting for the reset. He's going right for the kill.
CUT TO:
(On the monitor, MUSASHI runs down into the hidden area where RETRO met MAITREYA. We see someone behind him. He turns just as MAITREYA swings a broadsword down across his hands, severing them at the wrists. He screams in horror and agony, holding up his bloody stumps. The people in the control booth are watching everything, also in horror.)
IVAN: What just happened?
MULDER: (factually, staring at the screen) She cut off his hands.
(In the game, MUSASHI screams again, then stops and gazes at MAITREYA as she speaks softly to him in Japanese. Then she swings the sword again at his head.)
(In the control room, PHOEBE and the five men stare at the screen in horror. FROHIKE turns his head away in disgust.)
(Control room at FPS. Another poster of the GEEKS. The lights are off as MULDER and SCULLY enter.)
SCULLY: Hello.
MULDER: Anybody here?
(They almost leave, then SCULLY walks over to where PHOEBE is asleep on the floor. MULDER tries the light switch. It doesn't work.)
SCULLY: Phoebe? Hey, you okay?
PHOEBE: Oh. I must've fell asleep. I... I was just going to take a nap. I've been up for 70 hours straight, analyzing code, trying to fix the game.
SCULLY: Where is everybody? Where's Ivan?
PHOEBE: Um, he's with the money guys. They're all freaking.
SCULLY: Well, we need to talk to him right away about a woman named Jade Blue Afterglow. He scanned her body and he created a character out of her. He put her in the game.
(MULDER notices the LONE GUNMEN on a monitor standing in the game pace.)
MULDER: What are they doing?
PHOEBE: Oh...
MULDER: The Lone Gunmen are on the floor.
PHOEBE: Yeah, Langly and I wrote a software patch. We're going to run a rez-up test on the game.
SCULLY: What for?
PHOEBE: To bypass the problem.
(On the monitor, they watch as the scene shifts from blank white room, to the game street scene.)
SCULLY: Hey...
MULDER: What just happened?
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know.
MULDER: They're in the game.
(In the game, the LONE GUNMEN are panicking.)
LONE GUNMEN: (on the monitor) Hey! What's going on?! Phoebe, are you paying attention? We're not ready yet! Who's running the program? What the hell's going on? Phoebe? Come on.
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. The program's running itself. This can't be happening.
(PHOEBE is typing. Sound of gunfire. The GUNMEN run for cover.)
SCULLY: Somebody's shooting at them.
PHOEBE: This was supposed to be background only. There wasn't supposed to be any gameplay.
MULDER: They need help.
(MULDER walks out of the room. SCULLY watches him.)
SCULLY: Mulder?
CUT TO:
(Game entry room.)
[CLOSED CAPTIONING: T-minus 10 seconds to engagement. ]
COMPUTERIZED VOICE: 9 ... 8 ... 7 ... 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Engage.
(Camera pans up to show MULDER in full combat gear. Including large cod-piece and sleeveless shirt and big gun and dark sunglasses. He is holding a very large blaster. His arms are very nice.)
MULDER: Bring it on.
(The gate slides up and MULDER joins the GUNMEN behind one of the barricades. BYERS has a yellow paint blotch on his chest.)
MULDER: You guys okay?
FROHIKE: We've been better.
LANGLY: Byers's been hit.
BYERS: I'm okay. (he winces as a jolt of electricity hits him) It's a flesh wound.
FROHIKE: It's her. She's out there. She nailed Byers with that flintlock.
MULDER: Okay, on the count of three I'm going to lay down some cover for us. Ready? One... Two... Three.
(MULDER fires a cover of "bullets" as the GUNMEN run to the safety of the entry hatch.)
FROHIKE: Mulder!
(MULDER fires another volley.)
LANGLY: Get in the module!
(MAITREYA, wearing a black bodysuit, runs across the game area and into the lower area. MULDER watches her, then follows her.)
(In the control room, SCULLY and PHOEBE are watching.)
PHOEBE: What is he doing?
SCULLY: (exasperated) He's getting his ya-yas out.
(SCULLY heads for the game area.)
FROHIKE: Mulder!
LANGLY: It's suicide!
(MULDER runs into the area where the two previous victims found MAITREYA. She is waiting for him, lazily swinging her broadsword. He aims his rifle at her. She holds her sword in both hands above her head.)
MULDER: Put the sword down.
(MAITREYA swings the sword in a slow circle. As she does, her body disappears, then the sword does. She reappears behind him. He turns just as she swings. We hear a rapid volley of gunshots. The GUNMEN listen.)
FROHIKE: Mulder?
(Gunfire stops. The GUNMEN run for the area where MULDER disappeared. Halfway there, the image of the game digitizes, then goes to the plain room. Gunfire stops.)
PHOEBE: Oh, no.
(SCULLY enters the game area.)
SCULLY: Where's Mulder?
(No answer. SCULLY looks around. She is worried.)
(SCULLY comes down the stairs into the gaming area.)
SCULLY: I said, where's Mulder? Maybe you guys didn't hear me. Come on, guys. Where is he?
LANGLY: We don't know. He just took off after her.
SCULLY: I saw what he did. But where did he go?
FROHIKE: He went into the building.
BYERS: He was firing his weapon.
SCULLY: I saw where he went. I want to know where he is. Is there a door? Or an exit? Or some kind of passageway that he could have used?
LANGLY: Just the one you came in.
FROHIKE: He should be right here.
BYERS: It's impossible. It's a digital environment. It's just a game.
(SCULLY wipes a bit of yellow paint off of BYERS' chest.)
SCULLY: Yeah. Easy for you to say.
(PHOEBE enters the room.)
PHOEBE: Agent Scully. I found him.
CUT TO:
(The control room. We see an fourth player's digital readout.)
PHOEBE: This monitors everyone playing the game. There-- player four. It's his telemetry.
SCULLY: What do you mean?
PHOEBE: Player four-- that's him.
BYERS: On the monitor.
FROHIKE: Right there.
SCULLY: Where?
PHOEBE: That's Mulder.
BYERS: He's alive.
FROHIKE: Those are his vitals.
LANGLY: He's still in the game.
SCULLY: Yes, but where's the game?
(No one has an answer.)
CUT TO:
(In the game, MULDER comes to on the ground. He is alone. He throws off his broken headset, gets up, looks at the sword imbedded in the wall next to him, then goes out into the main area, gun at the ready.)
MULDER: Frohike?! Langly?! Byers?!
(MAITREYA appears at the end of the street. She begins back-flipping toward him ala Blade Runner. At the last minute, MULDER fires at her. She flips over him and disappears. MULDER looks around.)
CUT TO:
(In the control room, the GUNNMEN are working on the computer. PHOEBE approaches them nervously.)
LANGLY: I think that's it.
PHOEBE: What are you doing?
FROHIKE: We're rerouting the circuitry.
LANGLY: Making a kill switch so we can shut down the game.
PHOEBE: Don't touch that. It won't work. There's no way to do that.
(IVAN enters the room, gazing adoringly at SCULLY.)
IVAN: We are back in business. Baby... You are dope.
SCULLY: What?
IVAN: We were toast. I felt the flames licking my ass. Then the bankers SAW THE LETTERS ON THE AUTOPSY: F-B-I. CAUSE OF DEATH: Unknown. (chuckles) You fixed our problems. The game's going to ship and we're going to be counting Franklins.
SCULLY: Yeah, and you're going to be counting teeth.
(SCULLY advances threateningly toward IVAN. The GUNMEN stop her.)
BYERS: Her partner's lost in the game.
IVAN: Lost?
SCULLY: The game has disappeared.
IVAN: What are you talking about?
SCULLY: Jade Blue Afterglow-- does that ring a bell?
(PHOEBE looks uncomfortable.)
IVAN: Jade Blue Afterglow?
SCULLY: Oh, you'd remember her.
(PHOEBE, in tears, has run out of the room. SCULLY follows her.)
SCULLY: Hey. Phoebe.
PHOEBE: I don't know how it happened.
SCULLY: You knew about her? Then it was you. You scanned that woman's body.
PHOEBE: Into my computer. She was my creation. She was mine.
SCULLY: But why?
PHOEBE: You don't know what it's like-- day in and day out choking in a haze of rampant testosterone.
SCULLY: I wouldn't be so sure.
PHOEBE: I mean, she was all I had to keep me sane. My only way to strike back as a woman. She was my goddess. Everything I can never be.
SCULLY: But, Phoebe, she is still a killer. I can't explain it, but she is. And you put her in that game.
PHOEBE: No, I didn't. I was creating my own game in my own computer. It was totally secret. I never told anyone. But somehow she jumped programs and she's feeding off the male aggression. It's making her stronger and stronger. I need your help. You're the only one who can understand.
SCULLY: You've got to destroy her, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: I don't know how.
SCULLY: Well, there's got to be some way. There's got to be some vulnerability or a weakness somewhere.
PHOEBE: She has no weakness anymore.
CUT TO:
(Control room. SCULLY rejoins the GUNMEN and IVAN.)
SCULLY: Her name is Maitreya.
IVAN: Maitreya?
SCULLY: She's input herself into the game. We have to download her.
BYERS: We can't even get on-line. The system's been hijacked.
LANGLY: The program won't respond.
(FROHIKE is looking at the computer readout for MULDER.)
SCULLY: Frohike, what's wrong? What is that?
FROHIKE: Mulder's vitals are wiggy.
SCULLY: What?
FROHIKE: They're all over the map.
(PHOEBE enters. IVAN advances toward her.)
IVAN: This is your fault. You put her here.
(SCULLY steps between IVAN and PHOEBE.)
SCULLY: Hey. No fair picking on a girl.
(Control room. LANGLY gets the computer to respond.)
LANGLY: We're back on-line.
(Monitor shows static.)
SCULLY: There's no picture.
PHOEBE: No. We're just in rez up.
IVAN: No, there's something wrong.
(Old West scene shows on the monitor.)
SCULLY: That's not the game.
PHOEBE: Yes, it is. It's level two.
BYERS: How did that happen?
SCULLY: Where's Mulder?
LANGLY: Mulder's in level one.
(Different view of the scene shows MULDER standing in the middle of the street.)
FROHIKE: No, he's right there.
SCULLY: Shut the game down.
IVAN: No, no, no, no. I can't.
SCULLY: Well, just turn it off!
BYERS: Power down, Langly.
(Langly tries to enter the command.)
LANGLY: The computer's not responding.
SCULLY: Look! We have to get him out of there!
FROHIKE: Yeah, and quick.
(On the monitor, we see MAITREYA, now wearing chaps and a halter and carrying pistols. She is walking up behind MULDER. SCULLY is very concerned.)
CUT TO:
(Control room. The GUNMEN and IVAN and PHOEBE are watching the scene on the monitor.)
FROHIKE: Go, girl!
BYERS: Oh... Scully's on fire!
LANGLY: The bloodthirst is unquenchable.
FROHIKE: Are you witnessing this?
IVAN: Oh, yeah.
BYERS: Scully's in the zone.
IVAN: Clearly.
LANGLY: What's wrong?
PHOEBE: This is level two. It only gets harder.
IVAN: No one's ever beaten level two.
CUT TO:
(Control room. They are still watching MULDER and SCULLY's progress.)
BYERS: This is nuts.
FROHIKE: They'll never make it.
LANGLY: How do you kill something that won't die?
(PHOEBE takes over the keyboard.)
PHOEBE: Try and stop me, Ivan.
IVAN: My whole life is in this game.
FROHIKE: What are you trying to do?
PHOEBE: Stay out of this.
IVAN: She's gonna destroy it!
PHOEBE: It's the only way to save them.
(IVAN, PHOEBE, and FROHIKE are fighting for the keyboard.)
FROHIKE: Let it go! Both of you!
LANGLY: You can save them?
PHOEBE: There's a kill command.
IVAN: It kills the whole game.
BYERS: You knew about this?
IVAN: She knew about it, too.
FROHIKE: You said it wouldn't work.
IVAN: She was trying to save her creation; her Goddess.
PHOEBE: Well, you don't care who dies as long as your game survives.
BYERS: Our friends are in there.
LANGLY: And we're not going to let them die.
(Fight resumes for the keyboard.)
(Control room. FROHIKE gets the keyboard.)
FROHIKE: Give me that! This is out of your hands now.
BYERS: We have to shut down the program.
LANGLY: You're the only ones that can do it.
(PHOEBE and IVAN stare at each other.)
BYERS: They can't keep this up.
LANGLY: Scully's running out of ammo.
(Sound of gunfire continues on the monitor. IVAN shakes his head, pleading with PHOEBE.)
FROHIKE: What's the command?
IVAN: Don't do it, Phoebe. I'm so close.
CUT TO:
(Control room.)
BYERS: The command.
LANGLY: Give it to him.
(Pause. PHOEBE looks sadly at IVAN. He shakes his head.)
PHOEBE: Shift-alt-bloodbath.
(FROHIKE rapidly types it in. Sound of gunfire stops. The game imaging goes to static, then stops. IVAN stares at the monitors in horror. Sad piano music. The GUNMEN and PHOEBE enter the playing area. It is empty.)
BYERS: Oh, my God.
(CLOSED CAPTIONING: What have we done?)
LANGLY: We've killed the game and Mulder and Scully along with it.
PHOEBE: Over here!
(PHOEBE finds the discarded laser rifle in front of the entry doors. She runs to it along with the GUNMEN.)
PHOEBE: Scully!
GUNMEN: Mulder! Mulder! Scully!
(PHOEBE and the GUNMEN manually raise the entry doors. MULDER and SCULLY, exhausted, are lying on their backs. They both have yellow paint marks on their chests and SCULLY's hair is very floofy. They sit up. MULDER smiles.)
MULDER: (happily) That's entertainment!
(SCULLY glances at him. In slow motion, the GUNMEN help MULDER and SCULLY up and together they wa